Welcome homo sapiens.

I am here to educate humans about how iconic landmarks around New Zealand were really formed. I know yu have come up with different reasons over the centuries, but you humans are all wrong.

Most of your funkiest landmarks were made by Intergalactic Space Hedgehogs (inspogs). The Inspogs are a race of giant hedgehogs from the planet Daurian in the Atelerix Galaxy, about 450 million light years from earth. An ancient race, far advanced of both earth hedgehogs and earth humans, the Inspogs developed space travel some two million years ago, while humans were still living in trees.

They developed a form of galactic travel whereby they created pricks in the universe to slip through from one galaxy to another. This prickle travel allowed the Inspogs to cover great distances (millions of light years) in a short period of time. In human terms, the closest star to earth (Proxima Centauri) is about 4.243 million light years away. The Inspogs can do that in about a day and a half. Many of the "stars" we see in the sky are not actually stars, but prickle points created by the Interspogs.

Great explorers with a passion for sculpture and landscaping, the Inspogs travelled the Universe visiting other planets. On those without any advanced civilisations, they sculpted and "improved" many of the natural features they found, either by design or by accident.

After several millenia, their descendants returned to many of those planets, and were fascinated by the stories that now highly evolved species (such as humans) came up with to explain how those features were formed. The Inspogs feel it is their duty to let other planets know how much of a role the Inspogs played in forming the iconic natural features of many worlds. I am their representative on earth.